Sometimes prayer can get ugly... even messy. When we truly open ourselves up to God and pour our honest feelings, thoughts and fears out to Him, it's not all nice and rosy. But that's the kind of prayers that God loves. He sees through all our pretence anyway.
1 Samuel 1:10 'In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord.'
This childless woman longed with her whole being to conceive, but for years she had been struggling. Over the years she probably prayed nice, "clean" prayers. But here she reached a point where she doesn't hold back any more. Her prayers are like a groaning from her deepest being reaching out to the highest God.
When asked by the priest (Eli) why she was 'acting this way... like a drunkard?' she gave a revealing answer. (v15-16). "I was pouring out my soul to the Lord... out of great anguish and grief."
He then speaks a blessing on her. SHALOM! 'Go in peace and may God hear your prayer.'
Somehow, after bearing her soul to God and excepting the word of peace spoken over her, the storm inside her subsides. We read in v.18 that 'she went away and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast. (take note... this 'peace' came upon her before her prayer was even answered.)
May you also experience such peace as you call on God in honest prayer.
Shalom!
